I started off this Easter weekend with two goals: make Easter cookies, and develop a way to put pineapple onto a pizza that I didn’t find revolting. I like pineapple just fine, but on a pizza? Not my style. I am a bit more of a traditionalist with my pizza style (with the noted exception of the peirogi pizza).

The Easter cookies were a no-brainer shortbread recipe. Turned out exactly as I envisioned. Additionally, (as if we aren’t going to have enough sweets in the house this weekend) I also threw a batch of peanut butter rice krispie squares into the mix.

To the conundrum that is pineapple on pizza. My good foodie friend Tyler and I have been vicously arguing about this for literal years…. Anyways, I decided to try and figure out a way to make this work. I’m reiterating that I do like pineapple. It has to be possible.

Let me walk you through my thought process, in which I have taken a somewhat scientific approach. I’m making the following two assumptions: ham and pineapple go together; and, pizza sauce and pineapple do not. So let’s exploit the first assumption and discount the second. Therefore, I need a sauce substitute. I decided to make pineapple and cilantro butter.

Pic on the left is the raw, semi-mashed pineapple, fresh chopped cilantro, a few peppery spices, and gobs and gobs of butter. Eventually it cooked down so the pineapple became soft (see pic on the right). Once it was cooked through, I let it cool down, then blended it in my food processor, and then stuck it in the fridge to re-solidify.

Let’s move on to my toppings.

For the quintessential ham flavour, of course I’m using my favourite pandemic pancetta. Only this time, I’ve got two types: a cubed version, and a very thinly sliced variety.

I’m keeping the tropical feel of my meal with a blend of mozzarella and mexican Cotija cheese, which is very salty (almost like a brick of Quebec-style cheese curds).

I’ve also made a tomato and pineapple salsa for sprinkling on top of the pizza. Ingredients include: grape tomatoes, pineapple, jalapenos, white onion, cilantro, green pepper, lime juice, a bit of olive oil, salt, pepper, paprika, and some chili flakes for extra spice.

Did you notice the bourbon and gin in the pic above? My original intent was to mix drinks to go with the pizza, but then I got lazy. Meh it happens….So i’m deferring those to tonight. I will be making mint juleps with a pineapple twist.

You may have also noticed the two bags of doritos. I made two different dorito-flavoured dusts that I used on the crust of the pie. It was tasty but it was very messy so I don’t think I will do the dorito crust in that way again.

All in all, the pizza wasn’t completely terrible. It took a bit longer to assemble because I was being incredibly careful because I didn’t want to overdo the pineapple flavour.

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!