salsa

LOCKDOWN LUAU

I wanted to do something special for dinner, without causing too much of a mess in the kitchen. I had a pork roast already, so I decided to make BBQ pork and pineapple skewers on the barbeque.

The sometimes unfortunate side effect of not being able to grocery shop whenever I want to leads to many kitchen substitutions. For example, having to fish out the chunks of pineapple out of the bag of frozen fruit medley. Something I always have on hand are those little plastic lemon and lime juice balls that they sell right next to the fresh guys in the produce aisle; a decent substitution and I endorse them fully.

To go with the skewers, I decided to make some nacho chips out of my old tortillas as well as a salsa fresca with some red onion scraps, my lime juice, the rest of my one jalapeno, and my cilantro of questionable freshness.

Once the pineapple was thawed out, I cubed up the pork and marinated the whole lot of it in cheapo BBQ sauce and some lime juice from my squeezy bottle. Simple and easy.

So in the end I had more pork than pineapple (see left-most meat sticks). I half-cooked my skewers in the oven first. I find the pineapple can burn at unequal rates to the pork (due to the sugar content of fruit), so by doing the majority of the cooking process in the oven it will ensure you have appropriate BBQ grill marks rather than something that looks like Mt. Vesuvius.

I cut my tortillas into strips rather than the traditional triangle shape to be different. I’m using the cheapest vegetable oil (in the largest integer) that I can buy. I have never known any difference across brands/price points. Also, if you aren’t a regular fryer, try a few test tortillas first to make sure your oil temp is correct. Start at medium heat and let the oil warm up for probably five minutes (or longer, depending on stove types and age etc.).

As soon as they are out of the oil, hit your chips right away with your seasoning. I have used a habanero lime grinder mix that I got at Winners Homesense when we still had civil liberties like casual shopping.

Here are the skewers after being finished on the BBQ. Once they come out of the oven, I re-doused them in more BBQ sauce since the baking will likely result in moisture loss.

And here is what’s left of the chips and the salsa. I can’t take credit for the tomatillo sauce (green goop) as that is store bought. Still tasty though!

Boredom Baking, Pandemic Pizza

I started off this Easter weekend with two goals: make Easter cookies, and develop a way to put pineapple onto a pizza that I didn’t find revolting. I like pineapple just fine, but on a pizza? Not my style. I am a bit more of a traditionalist with my pizza style (with the noted exception of the peirogi pizza).

The Easter cookies were a no-brainer shortbread recipe. Turned out exactly as I envisioned. Additionally, (as if we aren’t going to have enough sweets in the house this weekend) I also threw a batch of peanut butter rice krispie squares into the mix.

To the conundrum that is pineapple on pizza. My good foodie friend Tyler and I have been vicously arguing about this for literal years…. Anyways, I decided to try and figure out a way to make this work. I’m reiterating that I do like pineapple. It has to be possible.

Let me walk you through my thought process, in which I have taken a somewhat scientific approach. I’m making the following two assumptions: ham and pineapple go together; and, pizza sauce and pineapple do not. So let’s exploit the first assumption and discount the second. Therefore, I need a sauce substitute. I decided to make pineapple and cilantro butter.

Pic on the left is the raw, semi-mashed pineapple, fresh chopped cilantro, a few peppery spices, and gobs and gobs of butter. Eventually it cooked down so the pineapple became soft (see pic on the right). Once it was cooked through, I let it cool down, then blended it in my food processor, and then stuck it in the fridge to re-solidify.

Let’s move on to my toppings.

For the quintessential ham flavour, of course I’m using my favourite pandemic pancetta. Only this time, I’ve got two types: a cubed version, and a very thinly sliced variety.

I’m keeping the tropical feel of my meal with a blend of mozzarella and mexican Cotija cheese, which is very salty (almost like a brick of Quebec-style cheese curds).

I’ve also made a tomato and pineapple salsa for sprinkling on top of the pizza. Ingredients include: grape tomatoes, pineapple, jalapenos, white onion, cilantro, green pepper, lime juice, a bit of olive oil, salt, pepper, paprika, and some chili flakes for extra spice.

Did you notice the bourbon and gin in the pic above? My original intent was to mix drinks to go with the pizza, but then I got lazy. Meh it happens….So i’m deferring those to tonight. I will be making mint juleps with a pineapple twist.

You may have also noticed the two bags of doritos. I made two different dorito-flavoured dusts that I used on the crust of the pie. It was tasty but it was very messy so I don’t think I will do the dorito crust in that way again.

All in all, the pizza wasn’t completely terrible. It took a bit longer to assemble because I was being incredibly careful because I didn’t want to overdo the pineapple flavour.

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!